Q: What are skydivers called that yell ‘Polly want a cracker?’ as they jump from an airplane?
A: A parrot trooper.

Q: Why do birds sing?
A: Because they don’t have to re-pack once they’ve landed.

Q: What’s a beautiful, sunny day called when it’s preceded by two cloudy, rainy ones?
A: Monday.

Q: What’s the difference between a bad skydiver and a bad golfer?
A: A bad golfer goes, “Whack! Crap!” and a bad skydiver goes, “Crap! Whack!”

Having a hard pull is one of the most common total chute malfunctions. This is when you pull on the pilot chute but it doesn’t come out of its container. This can happen for a few reasons but whatever the case, your chute doesn’t even come out. If this happens, pull one more time on the pilot chute handle but only a little more firmly. If it still won’t come out of the container, forget about the pilot chute and try the reserve. You can avoid the problems of hard pulls when you pack the pack by making sure that everything will come out easily and works as it’s meant to.

The other common reason for total chute malfunctions is when the pilot chute is missing its handle. This causes a problem because without the handle, you can’t get the pilot chute out of its container. If this happens, feel with your hands down to the corner of the container and find the pilot chute yourself. Then manually pull it out. This problem can be prevented by making sure before you exit the aircraft that your pack has not become snagged on any seat belts, door jams, or anything else. Always, always inspect your equipment before the jump and never leave the aircraft if part of your equipment is questionable.

MSL - This is Means Sea Level. The pilot flying the jump plane will use MSL to refer to altitude. The difference is that it refers to how many feet above sea level the plane is and not how many feet above the ground.

Main – Referring to the main parachute and hopefully, the one that will be used instead of the reserve.

Manifest – This is the action of placing yourself on a list to get onto a jump plane. Each plane has a list of every jumper and these lists are kept in certain locations where you must go to get on the list.

Microline – This is a newer kind of suspension line that is much smaller than the old dacron lines that were once used.

Organizer – This is someone who coordinates formation dives. This person is usually greatly skilled at organization and is very experienced at skydiving. 

Out landing This is when a skydiver does not land on his/her target.

Out of date: If the reserve was packed more than 120 days ago at the time of the jump, it is considered to be ‘out of date’ and is illegal to use.

The instructor didn’t miss a beat and looking at the young man with a dead-pan expression, he said, “The rest of your life.”

The trick can begin in the plane with the cowboy climbing onto the back of the horse just before or shortly after leaving the plane. However, the horse can be mounted during flight as well if the cowboy glides up along the side of the horse and then gets on as he would if the horse were standing up. Once on, the trick has been accomplished and not only have you just completed a trick but you’ve also experienced a little bit of fun flying!

King Air – This is an aircraft that’s been designed by the manufacturer Beechcraft. It’s most commonly found in medium-sized drop zones.

Line of Flight – This is the imaginary line that the aircraft will use on its flight path. Knowing the line of flight is very useful when doing formation diving and when there are multiple divers, they will be dropped off along strategic points of the line of flight.

Log Book – Just as it’s common to log flights and and on ships, many skydivers will keep a log book. This is especially useful for logging your achievements and your goals. It’s also just a nice way to record your skydiving experiences.

LORAN – This is a navigational system that can be compared to today’s GPS. It works on ground transmitters and is mostly obsolete.

Once you are above the site, you should try to gauge your ground speed while turning into the wind. This becomes of particular importance on days that carry a very high wind. It’s important to know that the more wind speed there is, the less ground speed you will have and if you are running with the wind, your ground speed will also be faster. Once you are properly turned towards the wind, estimate how far vertically you are from your target (i.e. 250 feet.) Imagine an invisible line going straight down between you and your target and follow along it until you get to about 300 feet. Turn towards the target but don’t be alarmed if you are overshooting it – this is what’s supposed to happen. 

Complete a small “S” turn, which consists of turning 90 degrees one way and then 180 degrees the other, and do this until you are nicely aligned over your target. Assuming you have left yourself lots of time, you can continue to do this S-turn until you are in a good position to land.

Jumpsuit – A suit that skydivers wear for certain types of jumping, such as freestyle, FS, and accuracy.

Jumpmaster – This is someone who can train other skydivers and who has successfully passed a USPA Jumpaster Certification Course. They are different from instructors in that they cannot oversee a first jump course, oversee a student’s program without the supervision of an instructor, or sign off licenses.

It’s fun to talk about skydiving and parachuting and always try to master the greatest tricks and attempt new stunts. There’s so much to learn and know about skydiving that sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in technical talk and safety regulations, etc. but unless we are actually flying through the air, the actual reasons why we do what we do, the sheer joy and excitement, can sometimes be forgotten. But it’s when we come across rare footage such as this that we remember just how awe-spiring and beautiful this sport can be. Check out this YouTube video to see some of the most precise and stunning group work that you have ever seen!

‘Well, I do have everything done pretty much for me,’ the blind man explained. They position me in the door and tell me when it’s the right time to jump. Before that, they place my hand on my ripcord so that I will have it even before I go. Then I’m off to enjoy my jump!’

Still in awe, another student asked, ‘But how do you know when you’re about to land?’

The blind man smiled softly. ‘What I get in return for my loss of sight is a keen sense of smell and hearing. This lets me hear when things are getting closer and I can smell the top of the trees before I get to them.’

‘But how do you know when to lift your legs for your final landing position?’ the student pressed on.

To this the blind man replied, ‘Oh, the dog’s leash goes slack.’